I was texting two minutes ago with a friend of mine and she asked me what I was doing. I said we are going to sleep.
I was actually trying to sleep but then I changed my mind, when I realized I wanted to write this post.
I can’t think of the last time I said a we putting the same meaning. I don’t really remember it. It is a beautiful feeling, scaringly beautiful when you are used to do always things on your own or when your shared plans are just temporary.
I think this is different.
This is when you are a bit more grown up and you have seen many places, many faces but above all you had met a lot of different men. You are not twenty years old anymore. It is not like when you did not know what does it mean to share a bed on a permanent basis with one single man.
I don’t believe in the idea of marriage, I don’t believe in people who agree for their whole life to stay together no-matter-what without being aware of the fact that this promise will kill a part of themselves.
I don’t believe in a spoken fidelity also for the same reason. I know it can happen that you fall in love and you don’t wish to share your intimacy with no one else. But how can you forbid already some potential need you don’t even know if will happen – or not? Maybe people they also cheat because they want to feel the thrill of doing something forbidden? I don’t know.
I just know that if I would like to share my days with some partner, I wouldn’t get mad at him if he would have sex with another woman. Tomorrow that could be me.
This wouldn’t erase any feeling of jealousy – of course.
But this would be my problem, not his.
It is nice to use the word we sometimes.