You are the change

Yesterday – two working weeks over. This slice of time has been a lot of reflections and self-analysis, so I wasn’t feeling about writing. After months of total freedom, finding myself again in a routinary life, with an office, a gym, an alarm clock and a brand new pair of keys, it is overwhelming. It’s a bit how I predicted here.

In fairness, I do feel overwhelmed.

I still can’t get used to the idea that I have scheduled days. That I have to plan so many things in my head even before I am physically making room for them inside my brain. Far were looking those days when my thoughts during the shower in the evening, were busy about meals to cook for the day after. And prepare also the coffee machine for breakfast or my clothes for work. But now is all back again.

How in a life like that is possible to appreciate the present moment? It is not possible. People think ahead of everything. Even ahead of their feelings and of how they feel. I do not like that, I don’t like this anymore.

But I have to be realistic, and so I am. I know that this timeframe I will spend working, it is something that I need – and not only because of economical factors – which are, however, still my main reasons.

Coming back to normality makes me appreciate the fact that I am still free. I am touching it while being in a routinary life. This is my reassurance that no matter where I will be, which job I will do, I will always be free. All the places I have seen, all the people I learnt from, they are all inside me. These are all lessons that I treasure inside myself and I will never forget.

My task here is never forget this and live everyday as I feel to – within my possibilities. It’s like seeing from the outside the place where I want to be and be there at the same time. Because I know I wish to be no one else but me and this is the place where I want to be.

I need sometime to appreciate and reflect on the things I learnt on the way. There is no reason to rush. I need to be prepared for when I will head to Asia and I need to go back to some committed physical workout because I can feel my body weaker. I want to see a lot that can be reached by bike close to me, starting from next spring. Starting shooting arrows again in an archery club will strengthen my mind, keeping it tightly focused on my aims.

I bought a kindle because I want to read and learn as much as possible. It’s a greener choice and I don’t want to accumulate things again.

I can’t wait to be on the road again!

 

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