Normality-Phobia

This morning I packed my (few) things from the Airbnb host where I was staying to come to the last place where I will be till when I will get to my new place. Yes, Friday 23rd is the day when I will have again a pair of keys. I will start needing again normal things – from bath towels to a place where to store my shoes.

I will have all my stuff back (not a lot to be honest, I moved from Ireland only the essentials) and I can say this is “my flat” or “would you like to come to my place?” to everyone I want to.

My life in 4 boxes of 40*40*40 - 60 kgs

My life in 4 boxes of 40*40*40 – 60 kgs (plus a guitar)

I will have a landlord, I will have a rent to pay on the 23rd of each month and an office with colleagues. I will have a gym again, hopefully I will find an archery club where I can go to shoot and a Dutch bank account.

This is what I want now and I am very happy to start a new chapter of my life, as I wrote in this previous post here, I really think that I landed in the place where I was meant to be.

However, I can’t hide to myself a “weird” feeling that I started noticing yesterday, while I was trying to drive it away, with the help of my yesterday’s different subject of writing. This morning I woke up and the first thing I read was a message from a dear friend of mine who has been travelling for many months, willing to come back home with some projects in mind – all of them involving being far for a while again.

Learning is the word she used the most.

I truly believe – from my experience and the ones I have heard – that once you start tasting what does it mean freedom, your perspective about the life you want to have totally change. Because you, in first place, is the one who is changing in first place.

You start noticing the transient nature which characterizes basically everything is surrounding you. It’s like you start looking into a big, golden-framed mirror, which constantly reflects the spectrum of things, making them real for the unicity they carry.

Now like never before, I can find myself lost through the countless impulses which this everyday reality throws back on me. That could be anything: from a kid playing happily with his grandma (happened this morning) or colorful,dozen leaves falling on me when I walk into a park (yesterday afternoon).

Since I’ve started having time for myself – all the time I want – I’ve realized how important is looking for the right time for yourself. That is not a merely matter of quantity, rather than quality. There are treasures surrounding us and talking to us every day, every hour. Anything we may be doing is performed on a stage from which we can admire a priceless show that is our own life together with the ones we want to share it.

I really feel blessed for having reached this awareness in my life. For this reason, I look forward to living and being myself, always open to the awareness that everyday can lead to a different point of view. Even when living a perfect normal, routinary life .

However, I know this time will be different – I now know the life I want and I know I will always do whatever I feel to – more than I used before. The truth is – if you don’t question about these things, if you don’t feel the urge to stop and reflect on such ideas, it means we are talking two different languages.

Before travelling on my own and giving time to myself, I could not even imagine that there is such a beautiful world around me. I used to appreciate it through some good books, by staring at some lively paintings or listening to some inspiring tunes – probably the easiest way for lifting into another reality. Like getting a new pair of eyeglasses through which you can look.

But now, I look around and look back inside myself and I can see lives shaping and breathing. I can feel people crying as much as they can be happy and satisfied. I am in love with any manifestation of Mother Nature, as we should always remember where we originate but above all for all the things we still have to learn, like living in harmony and in respect of each other and anything populating our common spaces.

For all the times I was thinking kids are just noisy, while they carry the genuinity and the sense of fun we should never forget when growing up. For what does it mean being loved and give love – the strongest and most beautiful of our capabilities. For one day, 10 years or a lifetime – it drives the entire world and can make it a better place.

Thus, I believe, it’s not just about the things you do in your life nor the things you own. It’s not about the amount of activities you perform in a day or night time – from your job or for yourself. Anything – even travelling the whole lifetime you have – can be absolutely empty and boring.

It’s all about breathing with open lungs, listening with an open mind and living while keeping your heart positive and open for constant love and learning. Your life will turn into magic.

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