A time for yourself

When your heart is broken and torn in two, give it space for time. It can be the most difficult among all options, but pursuing and procrastinating an obsession of someone who is not coming back to your texts and staring the ceiling with heavy tears, will only be disrupting. Time wise, a destructive move can only compromise his potential return.

Be busy and write down your goals. Daily. Hourly if necessary. Wipe off your tears and turn down those honey-like tunes. Try to find something that you really want and that can translate your bad mood into a new, exciting task. Once you have the answers, stick into those rules. Read carefully, make your breath ticking with the sound of what you really want to and above all, do follow those scripts like medicines.

You don’t wanna live anymore and no chance to get out of bed? Only thinking about your office and desk gives you nausea and probably you will make call sick tomorrow? Hang on a second and try to reflect on this: where is this going to lead you eventually? Trying to avoid your duties is only a way to rely on a momentary idea of “I-don’t-wanna-live-paradise”. At the end of the story, you know you have to wake up because getting to work will give you a payslip on the 27th. If you are doing whatever you like, even better! But in all the other cases, answering to that annoying email, dealing with a difficult relative, log on Internet banking to check how much cash you left from the weekend, these are things you will have to sort at some point. Postponing can only be a way to get what you might need to know now, few days later. Sometimes, it’s not a good thing.

You keep on regularly checking his Facebook page. You stare at your Iphone screen on the last conversation of Whazzup, only to see when he was on line. Now he’s on line. Damn it. Now is not anymore but he shows up again after 2 seconds. God, can this be so painful? You can’t avoid the idea of the time you are spending thinking about a note from his side that regularly doesn’t come. But what about when he was actually texting you and you were feeling weird about it? Try to think also about the bad things and not only the pumping red hearts flying around your thoughts. Think about that Saturday afternoon you needed him to be with you because you were feeling down and he skipped the thing because of the game at the pub. Or that promise on a ticket gig that never came. What about your feelings, when that night was better to switch off the phone to do whatever you don’t want to know and never asked.

And now, probably the most painful paragraph. Her. Whatever she comes from or she could be looking like. Seriously, how the hell does this could be really matter eventually? She’s now the queen of his thoughts, it’s her reading his messages when you see that “online” script below his name on your phone. They are probably having sex listening to those song he put on his phone after he listened for the first time with you. He’s still, in that same bed of one line above, telling the things you told him you wanted to hear. And yes, I do also believe that some of that good time in bed she’s now having with him, it’s also a result of your sex lessons. Deep, on the left, straight ahead. He didn’t know that before you.

YOU is the answer to these hints. You are a valuable person under many aspects and absolutely unique for the treasure you carry inside. Your past has made you what you are, as a master of your actions. If something went wrong, you are enough capable of reflecting on the long term effects. When it comes of side effects, you will be able to stare on the line a minute more if necessary and go ahead with the appropriate actions once a clock is put in front of you and a choice has to be taken. Don’t victimize yourself for what happened, for your last words, for the last moment together. You did what you were feeling to and this is how it had to go. It’s not letting the destiny ruling your life but realising that there is a silent reason behind any happening. This is the moment to wake up, stand up and accept your present. Anything good can come out only from romantic memories, vivid talks or funny time in bed. Tears have to go down and be the border line between the gains you can now count as experience and life lessons. For your future, for yourself, for the only one that really count on this earth, the centre of the world. YOU.

I would advise anyone to start an active life if not currently into. Having goals on your body helps you to look better on the long term for your own eyes, but keeps you focused on small details day by day as well. It doesn’t mean going for a killer diet and starving to lose 15 pounds. Instead, I would go for a trainer consultation, have a physical check and get a programme to follow. Attend regularly classes to learn how to accomplish what you have to do because probably by doing it alone is hard, especially at the very beginning. Listen to your trainer carefully and do sweat every minute of your workout. You have to use all your faculties to concentrate on your goals. Don’t joke with it but take it seriously, trying to enjoy it at the same time, because can be as hard as fun. Never forget this, working on yourself and do what you like, is primary to get good things and enjoy your days. Have fun is determinant. Do yoga only if you like, but I would suggest for something of stronger impact, like box or zumba. Do it for 6 months and try to judge yourself only after these sex months have gone by. The general idea of sport, will be then applicable to your everyday life, when all the most difficult things to accomplish will be seen as a spinning class. No matter how much you sweat, how tired your legs can get: you know you have to finish, you know you have to do it.

For your love expectations, give yourself time. Time can answer many questions, can put you down only if you will take it in the worst way possible: being anxious, sticking your thoughts to him, and being obsessive on what is not with you anymore. Surround yourself by true friends, go out only when you feel to. Do read a lot, take time for yourself. Learn how to live alone, how to sleep alone, how to wake up and go to bed into an empty room. Sooner or later, the ghost of him staring at you from the bed when you are drying your hair, will go away. Never forget yourself, don’t let anyone ruin your days for any reason. Life is one and we won’t be given any second chance. Breathe with open lungs to your possibilities, when you are full of yourself, your smell is different. Maybe that one in front of you in the daily commuter doesn’t look that bad in the end, you just need to listen to yourself. And if one day, his messages will pop up again on your phone, you will know exactly what to say and how to say it. Don’t preclude yourself, just live.


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